Light Within ~

“This is what time is” ~ Messages from spirit.

I received an important message about her immanent crossing just a few weeks before, one that I will forever be able to call upon to find peace in times of grief and loss. As such, the passing of my beloved maternal grandmother one month ago was not as much of a shock to me as it was to the rest of my family. There is a special connection to one’s maternal grandmother. After all, a piece of yourself was created within her as well while your own mother was being created.

I visited with her before she passed. That day she was laughing and bouncing her great-grandchild on her knee. My cousin’s 8 month old was the light of her life, and whenever we tried to take a picture with them together she could hardly look at the camera as she was so focused on him with sparkles in her eyes. She always said “all I want is to live to see one great grandchild!” She did; her life’s wishes were complete. Two nights later and a few months shy of her 92^nd birthday, my always elegant grandmother took off her Order of Canada pin that she wore every day, put her eye-mask on, went to bed – and didn’t wake up.

My Tata was no ordinary senior citizen. She was a trailblazing and inspirational award-winning Canadian fashion visionary whose career and legacy is documented in the website I made for her several years ago, and have updated since her crossing.

As someone who offers card readings or guidance through energy work I enjoy getting professional psychic readings for myself, and on this occasion I attended the Toronto Psychic fair. I browsed the aisles of card readers, psychic mediums and esoteric artifacts for sale, and I still wasn’t sure if I would get a reading. It was 20 minutes before closing and one woman stopped me as I passed her booth; “Come get your reading love.” “I’m not sure it will help” I said. “Don’t be so negative it’s your biggest problem. This is why you are here isn’t it?”

There are things I always expect to hear from a new reader: “Wow you are going to live a looong time!…You were meant to be your own boss…no health issues…I see you also have some psychic ability, why aren’t you using it more? You must meditate more to strengthen your connection.” Agreed. Of course these are things that have always been known to me, but it is always nice to hear again. Some may argue those things could be said to anyone and so-called spiritual readings are nothing but entertainment. But after years of hearing certain points in varying detail, there are things I no longer question.

We discussed several of my present life issues and she reminded me again not to be so negative about what I perceive to be immovable life predicaments. Then, a moment of pause. “Is your grandmother here, or somewhere far away?” I responded that I have one here, and that I also have one far away. I felt the space opening and the connection deepening; she had stopped searching for the messages and instead was going to deliver something important:

“You must understand, that what is coming is not sad, it is natural. It is not sad. This is what time is, and you need to know that.” The space after the words was a space of understanding and acceptance within my soul. This message was not from this woman but from time itself. I nodded, it was felt, and I did not ask her which grandmother time would be coming for.

I filed that message away at the back of my consciousness. Why worry? It was going to happen eventually wasn’t it? Eventually arrived only two short weeks later, and the words were there to comfort immediately when I heard the news – It is not sad, it is natural. This is what time is. In that moment I almost wished I had asked which grandmother, but what could I have done had I asked? What more was there to share through a message so clear, one meant to relieve my own sadness and offer deeper understanding for anyone I could share the message with. Had I insisted on knowing I would have been fearful and perhaps instilled fear in others. This message was not about fear, it was about acceptance, and a lesson not soon forgotten about our connection to time.

My Grandmother’s crossing was aligned with how she lived her life, a life following her passion without fear and without regrets. My Tata was a truly positive and genuine soul, a perfect example of a life well lived and well loved by many. She chose not to suffer her own emotional issues in life, she was generous and patient, and at 92 with no illness other than arthritis, healthy and not a day in the hospital, death came to her without suffering. The sudden loss of a beloved family matriarch was sad for all of us, but she had not only lived a good life realizing all her dreams and goals filled with love and compassion for everyone she met including herself, time had honoured her in the most beautiful of ways and had blessed her with a graceful and easeful exit. An angel’s death as they say in Arabic.

I share this story and the lesson of time brought through my grandmother’s crossing, so that in times of despair we can call upon this lesson to bring acceptance closer to our hearts. I had written something about time two years ago I posted and will repeat again here:

Time is the birthing of a new clean and unburdened moment. Time is the gatekeeper of ever unfolding limitless possibilities. It is the gift of spaciousness, it is the rhythm of the breath of the universe. Time is not our enemy, and to attempt to race to beat it is to hold one’s breath as if to gain greater momentum. To resent it is to deny the life spring of truth and understanding available to us, and to wish for its folding backwards or forwards is to rob us of the experience of expansion

The egg from your mother that made you was already formed all inside one being, your grandmother. Even with her busy career, my grandmother took special care and time in helping raise us. I was also blessed enough to also have her mother, my great grandmother in my life until almost her 100^th birthday and my 20th. So many creative forces were passed to me from my grandmothers, and I am grateful beyond words for those gifts and for the love I feel they continue to give us. I am grateful for the gift of time and longevity that my spirit through them has also been granted to walk this earth, to have known such a dynamic and vibrant spirit, and to be blessed to call her my Tata.

May her spirit be at peace and may her memory be eternal~

Love, Hala